My Place or Yours?

Or, "everything you need to know about touring, outcalls -- and the alternatives"

SWEET HOME CHICAGO

Three weeks ago today, I returned from a Florida tour. From Miami's balmy 70 degrees, I was suddenly greeted with overcast skies, gusty winds, and well-below-freezing temps. No more pools, or outdoor seafood restaurants, and skimpy clothes.

And boy, was I ever glad.

Because touring is a risky business. Always. Greater chance of arrest, more crazy callers, higher no-show rate, and overhead through the roof. To make it worthwhile, provider and client both sacrifice so much to the economic demands for quantity. The revolving door.  Touring is all about the money. Period.

But this last trip through Florida took all the prizes for Disappointment. Aside from a few gentlemen adept at the proper treatment a lady ... well, it was not an experience I'd like to repeat.

THE WORLD COMES TO JULIETTE

The upside was, it made me realize how lucky I am, here in Chicago. Living just 20 minutes from O'Hare, the world's busiest airport, so many out-of-town gentlemen find me in the course of their business or recreational travels. Without leaving my apartment, I've played host to voyagers from virtually every continent of the world.

Yes, even one who has visited Antarctica!

Here at my lovely home, you can relax, enjoy a soft drink or cuppa hot tea in my candlelit living room, decorated with art and antiques. For your pleasure, there is a huge closet of clothing choices, not just 2 or 3 outfits crammed into a suitcase. And in my boudoir, we settle into an amazing 100% memory-foam mattress for cozy fun.

In short, my home is your escape, your vacation getaway.

SO, NO TOURING AT ALL?

This may not be good news to potential clients across America who have contacted me, virtually begging me to set up shop. It seems dozens of municipalities are awaiting a visit from Juliette.

 

Touring is all about the money. Period.

So are they doomed to never experience my unique hospitality?

Well, I never say never. Short trips to certain cities are still a possibility. But the odds of me travelling through your town once or twice a year, regular as clockwork, as some escorts do, is very, very slim indeed.

So don't count on it.

ALTERNATIVE #1: CREATIVE STOPOVERS

Hardly an airline in the world doesn't fly through O'Hare or Midway Airports. Smart travelers leverage this fact, and arrange a visit to Juliette.

Direct flights are expensive. You can usually save a lot of money by buying cheaper trips with an O'Hare stopover. Midway is fine too, but you'll have a slightly longer drive. Either way, be sure to allow at least three, preferably four hours, between flights.

From O'Hare, a short taxi ride takes you right to my door. Tell the cabbie to come back in one or two hours. Or let me phone for your return taxi.

The time in between is all ours to enjoy.

This may sound hectic, but its so easy. Let someone else do the driving ($40 each way, with tip) and let me make it worth your while. You can even grab a slice of Chicago-style Deep Dish along the way. Unless of course you're saving room for airline peanuts.

 

My home is your escape, your vacation getaway.

Some men, believe it or not, make time for me during their vacations. One client routinely drops in during his wife's shopping trips! Oh yes. While she's loading up on Michigan Avenue, he's putting a smile on his face with me. Another marriage saved.

SOLUTION #2: "HI, I'M JULIETTE. FLY ME"

If a trip to Chicago just isn't doable, there is another alternative. Like the old National Airlines ad said, you can Fly Me.

To Destination You.

Its simple. A gentleman, on a day and time of their choice, flies me to their city (or a third location) and has me all to himself.

No, this is not an inexpensive date. But its hard to put a price on intimacy. We can kick back together, sometimes for several hours, and explore all kinds of fun. Either in our room, or out on the town.

Clients who have gone this route are sold on it. And Lord knows I'm much happier with this kind of travel, knowing that knock on the door is NOT a policeman, or lunatic; or worrying if he'll stay so long the next will have to wait, and the guy after him, etc etc. I can relax.

And when this girl is more at ease ... you are a happier boy. Trust me.

For more information, write me for details.

TOURING SUCKS - FOR YOU, TOO

My final word is this: touring is bad for both parties.

Hotel rooms suck. They are for business, not pleasure.

Touring girls place you at a much greater risk of arrest. Police in Chicago and elsewhere follow travelling escorts to their hotel rooms (yes, cops read the Visiting Ads too) and routinely bust clients there.

Worst of all, you get a girl who won't be around tomorrow, and is therefore less accountable. Inevitably, she's thinking more of her safety and money than pleasing you.

Intimacy? Good luck. Some girls, like me, will strain to make it happen. But usually its difficult if not impossible to conjure up.

And in the end, that's what stops me from touring. Far too often, its no damn fun for either party.

 

And when this girl is more at ease ... you are a happier boy. Trust me.

You may think its a fascinating game, following the "What's New" listings on Eros ... tracking the latest wave of girls to wash up on the local tarmac, supposedly saving you some money and inconvenience.


But have you really thought of all the downsides? If one sacrifices so much for the so-called convenience, what's the point?

Or as I like to say ... is delivery food ever as tasty as meals prepared at home?

If your answer is yes, we are simply not suited for one another. A quality provider is to be savored, under ideal circumstances. Not consumed hastily, with one eye on your wallet and the other on your watch.

Let me cook something up. You'll be glad.

Kisses ...