Behind the Back Door
A Primer in Anal Play for the Enthusiast, the
Curious, and especially the Inexperienced
Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I love anal pleasure.
And I'm very accomplished. At giving, not just receiving.
Alas, among you civilians, there is so much needless drama
surrounding anal. Finding a partner with both sufficient experience
and an open mind. Anal pleasure is the most misunderstood activity
of adult relations. Not least of all because its the
When I first began to explore my transitioning body, anal was one of
the most wonderful and unexpected discoveries. I learned a great
deal, and continued both my practice and study. This is what I bring
to our encounters.
The general public gives anal a bad rap because too many people
simply don't know what they're doing. Or haven't even tried.
While anal pleasure has been around at least as long as genital sex,
modern western society has stigmatized it to such a degree that any
serious discussion first involves clearing away the falsehoods.
"Enjoying anal means you're
Wrong. A significant number of married and other hetero couples
enjoy it, too. I've enjoyed anal relations with many female
partners. If you hear women saying "he always wants anal, so he must
be gay", the subtext here is actually "I have hang-ups about anal,
and feel threatened & frustrated that men want it from me". Anal is
just another sexual practice. That's all it is.
"Anal sex is always painful."
Also wrong. In fact, the anal-rectal region has more pleasure
receptors than your genitals! If it hurts, you're just doing
it wrong. Because its not vaginal sex, different rules apply.
Also, since we've been told anything back there is bad, we need to
re-learn those natural sensations, as they were before we "shut 'em
down" during potty training.
"The best anal sex is rough"
You've got to be kidding, right? Many straight men harbor this wild
fantasy about being "taken" by a trans-woman. Because they have
"sub" feelings, being turned-on by putting their partner in control,
being virtually raped sounds exciting.
Too many people simply don't
know what they're doing. Or haven't even tried.
This is a prime example of fantasy having nothing to
do with reality. Anal pleasure requires relaxation, time, lots of
lube, a sensitive touch, and incredible cooperation between
partners. Forced, fast, and rough has nothing to do with anal
pleasure. For advice on pain, please go elsewhere.
"Its all about the prostate"
No, anal pleasure is not your family physician's digital rectal
exam, and finding your prostate is not your partner's Holy Grail.
The prostate is not a magic G-spot for all men. If yours is enlarged
or enflamed, contact can actually be very painful. For some men, it
heightens pleasure. But for all men, always, no.
"Bigger cocks are better for anal."
Actually, the reverse is usually true. A wide cock stresses both of
the anal sphincters (yes, you have two) and a long toy or penis
usually ends up whacking that first big bend in your sigmoid colon,
causing pain and possibly injury. An experienced bottom (receiver)
can eventually learn to maximize the pleasure and minimize the
discomfort from a large cock, but few of us seek one for anal.
"Its no big deal to mix anal with genital and oral play."
Another fallacy perpetrated by the porn industry, whose performers
seem to move indiscriminately between oral, genital, and anal
activity without cleaning themselves first. Bacteria from the rectum
cause infections everywhere else. Its that simple. I love anal play.
But our date, its going to be the last chapter for us, not the
The back door is not like the front door. Throw away your rulebook
for vaginal sex, and keep an open mind. These guidelines are a good
#1 You cannot use too much lube.
Vaginas make their own lubrication, but the anus and
rectum do not. You need plentiful amounts of a lubricating product
close at hand. Water based, petroleum based, or vegetable oils. When
in doubt, use more. Replenish frequently.
#2 Once entering the back door, the front door is off limits.
The bacteria necessary to digest your food cause
infections everywhere else. The rest is common sense.
#3 Anal pleasure demands a sensitive, cooperative connection between
This is an area of high sensitivity. Close, careful
attention helps prevent problems and maximize good vibes. Banging
away absent-mindedly and hoping for the best yields very poor
The anal-rectal region has
more pleasure receptors than your genitals
Anal is about taking it easy, allowing the receiver
to process such new and varied pleasure. No partner has ever
complained about my going too slow.
#4 Significant pleasure comes from no penetration at all.
That's right. The anal sphincter is extremely
sensitive. Lightly caressed, licked or gently pressed upon with lots
of lube, it can be so pleasurable as to actually accelerate the
#5 Anal is more about width, and not depth of penetration.
Men are so hung up on the easier-to-quantify measurement of length,
when in fact, its often a detriment. For the receiver, pressure
against the inside of the rectal wall is what feels good, not your
poking deep into the digestive tract. So its width that matters.
I've noticed how novices like
to shop big
The tricky part is, that same width can stress the
anal sphincters. One good solution involves special toys that
inflate once inserted. Another involves clever use of the hand,
spreading the fingers once inside the rectal cavity.
Note: width also creates most of the pleasure for clitoral and
vaginal sex, too ... a fact most men seem eager determined to
JULIETTE IN ACTION
Anal is more than just "butt sex",
or "topping". It encompasses rimming, fingering, fisting, and
toying. So I am very specific about what I give and receive.
What Juliette Receives
Nothing likely to put health at risk. Rimming
involves mouth to anus, so no go. Fingering or fisting I perform
with glove or finger cot. Intercourse with condom only. These
precautions are as much for your protection as mine.
Again, receiving, anything that goes in me is covered. Finger, your
If you want to rim me, that's fine but we will not kiss afterwards.
Period. Honestly, because of health concerns, I enjoy this much less
than covered fingering or intercourse.
What Juliette Gives
Fingering is my specialty. I am the Sensei, and Grand Mistress.
Simultaneous oral, is the best. Your entire awareness will pelvic.
Its amazing. Impossible to describe.
But if your curiosity exceeds your results, we stop. Some men just
can't get into it, and that's fine.
For those ready for larger things, I have a variety of toys. These
are covered with a condom. And of course, you may bring your own.
I've noticed how novices like to shop big. Shop smart instead.
Fisting involves the insertion of multiple fingers. Its wonderful
but only for the experienced, or those rare persons who release and
relax on our first go. Otherwise, I'm not into giving pain and we
won't fist until I feel you're ready.
Though often maligned, anal sex has enormous potential with the
right partner. To sum up:
This is an act of extreme intimacy, not
violence. It requires time, trust, and expertise.
Hands or small toys are usually better than
cocks. They're more sensitive, precise, and oral can be
Hygiene is everything.
Now, get yer butt over here, and let's start having